Landing On A Star

When you make a goal for yourself it seems a bit unattainable. Like a star shining bright, very visible but out of reach. But no one talks about life after you make it out of the cosmos and land on this burning being. Normally the credits begin to roll once the main character succeeds. We barely get a glimpse of the "happily ever after." No clue what life is like after they are freed....

I made up my mind to leave the USA once Trump was elected AGAIN. I felt EXHAUSTED by the efforts I put forth to vote for a candidate that only had 117 days to campaign, and felt BETRAYED by a political party lying to my face that the original candidate was capable. I was FED UP with NYC's rat race to absolutely nowhere. And most importantly, I was SPENT from trying to build a community with stunt royalties that were NOT willing to be inconvenienced by the very same communities they were "building."

Don’t get it twisted, this transition outside of the US was exhausting and hard. Why? Well first of all, I had to surrender the attachments I had that I loved but were truly toxic...Like NYC, period. I was mesmerized by the air filled with the stench of working class hustle, the game of hopscotch around dog shit and sidewalk piss, and the summer nights turning into days after going from the club to the “afteries” because no one wants to go home. 

Then, I had to accept things for what they are, like my career. My crown had been pressed against the glass ceiling in the world of film/tv production for years. Yes, I had graduated from handling coffee runs. But I found myself carrying the duties of a producer BUT without the title and being told I "don't have enough skin in the game.” And I can’t deny it might be because my skin is just the wrong color.

Lastly, I had to take a leap of faith. The virgo in me wants to say "I had to make a plan," but honestly, you can plan yourself to death and still have to operate by faith that things will actually go your way. You have to believe that there is a refuge waiting specifically for you and use this as energy to overcome any obstacle in your way. So despite all the whispers of doubt that floated in the wind, I was still willing and ready to take flight.

So what happens when you finally land on the star you've been striving to reach? Standing on the rim of this burning being that once seemed so faraway? 

Me… landing on a star

First you're overwhelmed with disbelief, you might even cry. Then you sleep to subconsciously process all that you've been through and release as much trauma with as little effort as possible. You have moments of silence, mourning what you had to leave behind, and simultaneously developing patience to adjust to this new territory.  Finally, you accept that you're in a new land, you are a new person. Your old skin shed some time ago, and now you must continue this journey of choosing you no matter what.